Sweet potato in your purse

Nearly every day when I get home, I dump my purse out on the kitchen table. Whatever doesn't belong there is given a new "home" somewhere else.

Part of my job is to help people find "homes" for items that don't have anywhere to "live." That means that replica of The World's Largest Frying pan that you got the last time you visited Rose Hill, NC has gotta go somewhere, be it stored in a box of souvenirs, thrown in the garbagio, given to a thrift store, or displayed in all its glory your mantle.

But I digress. Back to my purse.

Typically when I clean out my bag, I'll find the odd receipt, pen, or random Post-It lurking in the depths. But, the other day when I emptied its contents out on the table, out rolled a sweet potato.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I confess: Your professional organizer had put a starchy edible tuber in her pocketbook. On purpose.

Here's the truth:

You're never going to have it all together. There will always be something to put away, throw away, give away. You will always have a junk drawer.

And it's okay.

And if you DO have it all together, you're a nerd and you need to get a friend or a hobby, cause you've got WAY to much free time on your hands.

The point of creating systems of organization for yourself is not so they can boss you around and make you live in a state of constantly striving for organizational perfection.

That's called a cult.

The point of being organized is to reap both the peace that comes from knowing where your car keys are and the time to spend doing the things that are really important with the people who are the most important to you.

The point is to do your creative best in the wondrous realm of organization, and still be cool if a sweet potato takes up temporary residency in your hand bag.

"A place for everything and everything in its place?" Ha! It's never gonna happen, even for an anal retentive professional like myself, so give up the dream, sugar!

And, if you are seeking closure on what home you should give to your replica of the World's Largest Frying Pan, mine is stored in my hope chest.

My boyfriends.

I have several boyfriends.

Or, at least that is what my husband calls them.

My obsession with these men began long before I was ever married. But, my husband is okay with me having boyfriends.

Their names? There are so many of them, but I will name a few.

Bob

Dave

Perry

Rob

I've never actually met any of my boyfriends in person, except for Bob, and that was only for a couple of minutes. Mostly I just stalk from a distance.

Now, don't get your color-coded sock drawers all in a tizzy. Let me explain.

My "boyfriends" are all men that I love to read, watch, and listen to on a regular basis. They have profoundly impacted the way I look at God, His church, business, money, people, the Bible, poverty, and the environment.

They are Bob Harrison, Dave Ramsey, Perry Noble, and Rob Bell.

These guys are all wildly successful experts in the fields they are passionate about. And, as I have read, watched, and listened to them through the years, I have noticed a pattern.

They all get their creative, innovative, inspiring ideas from the same source.

Wait for it...

Yep- it's the Bible.

I thought to myself, "Self, what does God have to say about overflowing filing cabinets, cluttered closets, and junk drawers?"

So, I started at the beginning, and in the beginning, God laid out some pretty profound ideas about organizing and decorating a space. And they were GOOD. I mean, God said they were good. So I figured, hello- if they're good enough for the Almighty, then verily verily I say unto thee that they're good enough for me.

So, comin' your way Fall '08: a series of bold, brief, and brilliant blogs entitled, "Get Organized, by God!" And, check out all my boyfriends. They're so hot right now.

You asked for it...

It's truly amazing what you can get if you simply ask for it.

I am currently certified to teach high school Earth Science. That means if you need a nerd to tell you what the meteorologist actually means when the words "percent chance of showers" is uttered, I'm your gal. But here is the deal. After working my tuckus off in college to get this piece o' paper, it is only good for 5 years! And once that 5 years is up, my certification is toast.

Unless, during that 5 years I have completed 150 hours (150 HOURS!) of workshops. This is no small feat, especially if you not a traditional public school teacher. So, I did it!...or so I thought. I recently discovered that I'd missed some of the fine print and I still needed 20 more hours of delightful workshops to keep my cherished paper. And miracle of miracles, I found a 20-hour workshop on elk (shut up) close by. I signed right up, only to receive a polite e-mail a few weeks later stating that it was full with a long waiting list.

What's a girl to do? Find another workshop? Reply to the e-mail with an equally polite request to be placed on the waiting list? Heck, no! I got desperate. I called the guy up on the phone, I presented my case, I said that I didn't need them to provide me with room and board, or even transportation, I just needed 20 hours of elk! And you know what? My name has been magically and mysteriously relocated to the top of the almighty waiting list. And, should a space not become available, you know what they are going to do? They are going let me attend anyway!

What do you need? What do you want? You have not because you ask not. Open your mouth. Ask. Ask until someone says yes. Your shredder kick the bucket? The 1-800-Customer- Service dude telling you that you will have to pay for both shipping AND repair? Forget about him. Walk that puppy into the store. Present your case to a flesh and blood salesperson. Ask. Take your brand new shredder home and shred like you've never shredded before. Shred like the winner you are, because you had the guts to ask.